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Happy Birthday Marilyn 

Happy Birthday Marilyn 


“literally
nothing feels better than being loved
by someone who hates everyone”

“A faithful husband was drunk at a party; he didn’t know what was happening around him. When he arrived home, he went straight to bed and slept. When morning came, he was amazed. Everything in his room was in order, and a tablet of aspirin and a glass of water were on his bedside table with a note saying, “Good morning honey, I have to buy groceries but I’ll be back for dinner. Have your breakfast! Love you!” from his wife. He wondered why his wife didn’t seem to be angry at him, even though he was so drunk last night. He asked his son, “What happened last night? I got drunker than I meant to, your mom should be angry!” The son replied “When mom got home, you were still drunk and you were lying on the bed in your dirty clothes. She tried to undress you, but you said,’Stop, I’m married.’”
— Tumblr